February 23rd, 2017

​10 Reasons Why You Should Read “The Wait” 

We know her from Eve’s Bayou, Waist Deep, You Got Served, Video Girl and Jumping the Broom just to name a few films. We know him, widely as Meagan Good’s husband (if you aren’t super in tuned with film industry), but formally as producer and preacher. Meagan Good and DeVon Franklin, a beautiful couple, came together with their co-author Tim Vandehey to share their journey to love and how they achieved it through their practice of The Wait. They are a delightful example of Black love and excellence and if you haven’t read the book yet you should. Besides exploring a powerful practice for finding love, you will get a great love story and hope that your significant other is somewhere in the universe just waiting to find you as you are them.


If that doesn’t sell you, then think of it this way:

1. Who Doesn’t Appreciate An Amazing Love Story

When I cracked open the book for the first I was at one of my favorite cafes here in LA and there I was sitting on the sidewalk eating my food with tears filling my eyes. By the time I read that DeVon told Meagan “God doesn’t show your heart to everyone, only ones he can trust it with,” I needed a box of Kleenex. The introduction alone had me drawn in after just one paragraph. I’m a rom-com kind of gal so this happily-ever-after story was one for the books, no pun intended. Hearing the background of these two love birds was like watching The Notebook, except the story is real! Knowing that there are men alive who are wise enough to know there is more to a woman than what meets the eye is refreshing. The genuine love journey of these two people is inspiring and reassuring that there is love out there for everyone even in a society - and a generation - that have some warped outlooks on relationships as a whole. 


If nothing else, now you know where to go look for eligible guys in LA: Sherman Oaks Galleria, 
House of Blues, etc. These two places have been graced with the presence of Meagan and DeVon’s divine love so they must be good luck! 


2. You Want to Find YOUR Husband Not A Husband 
 Although the perspective of marriage has shifted tremendously over the years in our society (as I discuss in a previous post) there are still many of us who do value the sacred union. In the book, Good and Franklin explore the difference between A husband - some guy you find, think you love and marry - as opposed to YOUR husband - the man God has designed specifically for you even if he is not the man you envisioned. If you look deep enough, you will find answers - or at least provoking thoughts - as to why so many people marry only to divorce a short time later. Let me give you a hint, the answer is in Chapter 5: What Keeps Women From Waiting? It has something to do with who you choose to marry - do you want to marry anyone or do you want to marry “your partner in purpose.” 


3. Woman Being Celibate, Not A Huge Surprise…But When A Man Is Celibate 
As described in Chapter 6: What Keeps Men From Waiting?, men are “not exactly a group of people associated with an eagerness to go without sex.” There are many reasons for this that are explored in this chapter which I find increasingly refreshing. Men and celibacy is not something that is talked about as much as it should be which leaves it in the dark corner of topics with a stigma and double standards. If a woman can be celibate and its fine then why can’t a man be as well without being homosexual or less than a man? We live in a twisted society thats why. Nevertheless, we hear from Franklin firsthand in regards to his celibacy journey and why men are so hesitant to take such a stand. 


4. You’ll Learn How NOT To Wait 
If you are someone who is already considering or have made the decision to ‘wait’ the book gives strict guidelines as to what you want to avoid in every aspect of your life when embarking on the journey. For women especially, we have a chapter all for us that explores not only societal but internal issues which all stop us from doing the best thing for us in the name of Jesus. Whether its fear of losing your man, your friends or looking inferior to the next woman, actively reading this text will truly open you up to new perspectives and get you on the right path to choosing you and the life that you deserve. 


5. Everything Makes Sense From Both Religious and Logical Standpoints 


Now if you don’t know the Lord, are not interesting in knowing Him or are indifferent this book is still for you, I promise. Understand that this is a self-help book however, it is also an anecdotal memoir as well. These are two people who are being incredibly transparent with their readers in regards to the method they took to find their love. At no point in this book is it preachy or condescending. It’s simply a message from them to you spreading the word. Yes ‘the wait’ is ultimately about sacrificing for God - pleasing him in every way so that you can see more clearly His divine path for you BUT much of the practice is about finding self. True self-awareness is the key to many things in life, as I so advocate for in many of my posts. If you continue “dating with infatuation,” “ignoring your triggers,” and being obsessed with “instant gratification” there is a chance that you will never reach your full potential because you don’t know self, due to cloudy judgement. Even if you do get there it may take longer as the book so eloquently explains. In the text they compare it to dieting but I’ll compare it to driving with a dirty windshield. If you're driving and your windshield is dirty (and trust me I know because I’m often times too lazy to refill my wiper fluid) it’s going to be a true b*tch to get anywhere. Your glass is foggy, the sun glares off the dust, even your windshield blind area isn’t much help. You may arrive to your destination but trust and believe the journey there is going to be a lot more dangerous, if not fatal, than if you would have just cleaned it off. Same thing goes for your life with ‘the wait’. 


6. Implements The Importance of Sacrifice 
Sacrifice is something that is unavoidable if you plan to live a fruitful life - and by fruitful I don’t mean only monetarily. If you want a successful relationship you will have to sometimes sacrifice your selfish ways for the common good of the both you and your significant other. If you want to be a good parent sometimes you will have to sacrifice your time to truly invest in your child. If you want a successful career you will need to sacrifice time, money, and so much more to achieve your #goals. Sacrifice is indeed the name of the game and in reading The Wait you will see the power that sacrifice possesses in life. 


7. The Wait Helps You With A Successful Personal AND Professional Life
Especially nowadays with social media, we are even more obsessed with glitz, glam and finer things. Some of us opt for the easy way out and some of us don’t mind grinding for it, like the Clipse song. Chapter 6 says, “Business has more in common with the discipline of The Wait than men realize.” On a personal level, sacrificing and working on self is supposed to help you find the one. If you take these same principles and apply them to your professional life you will get similar results just in a different aspect. Working on self, your brand, and your product/service will bring you the customers or followers that you want: relevant, loyal and grateful ones. 


8. How To Date Whether Or Not You Are “Waiting”
This is a commitment if I ever heard one. It can’t be easy to give up something that is so forefront in society that we think we need, but some people may not recognize their true strength. Needless to say I’ve recommended this book to every person I’ve talked to over the past weeks and some of those people were receptive but some were uninterested. The uninterested ones posed questions about what they’d get out of the wait, or what makes the authors credible, as well as comments about sex being too important to live without. If you are one of those people there is still a message in this book for you. Again, about self-awareness, you will be provided with new perspectives that will act as a mirror for who you are as a dater and what you are doing wrong. To speak in more positive terms what you can do better as a dater. Each time I looked at a new chapter I thought, Oh my gahhhh, this chapter is speaking directly to me - especially Chapters 2 & 5. There is very much a Steve Harvey’s Think Like A Man, Act Like A Lady vibe to this book in that it urges you to look within - its starts with you homegirl. So when you go out on a date with that guy, do you have to wear that? And if you do wear that can you really be upset if he’s significantly interested in screwing you? Are you dating with infatuating without truly getting to know him? Are you having sex with him before you know if you even really like him? Are you having sex with him because you believe whole heartedly in the saying “what you won’t do another woman will? I know you can relate to at least one of those questions in your dating life and the fixes to all those problems are right in this little book.


9. When You Want To Know “What Do I Do Next?” They’ll Tell You 
Say you are already celibate, or newly celibate dating may seem like a complex gray area to you. Nope not at all. Dating while celibate and maintaining celibacy in a relationship are both covered right in between the hard covers of this book. Fret no more when you are ready to mingle with the opposite sex but are unsure of how to go about it and stay true to your commitment. In a relationship and want to break it to your significant other, they’ll tell you how. 




10. Who Doesn’t Love Genuine Advice From Genuine People 
In reading The Wait, if you do so with an open mind/heart, there is no way you will walk away empty handed whether you agree with the practice or not. “One of the keys to practicing The Wait is giving up sex,” however with a thorough read you will see that its not solely about the physical but more about how mental strength can help you reach potential in life, of course by their experience, with the help of the Lord. Having the luxury of meeting the couple and getting two autographed copies of the book, for my self and my best friend, their love for one another, the Lord they serve and passion to help others shined through. Its both refreshing and inspiring to see such a beautiful love story knowing that if you do at least half of what they have done you can too find YOUR true love. So what are you waiting for?! This book has been out since February 2nd so that means you are officially late to the party…go buy the book. It’s not about getting a book its about getting your life! So go snatch that book and go snatch the life that you deserve!